I have somehow managed to throw myself into a world that is not accustomed to people like me. People of my age, more particularly. When in high school, one dwells in a sphere of adolescence, surrounded by people of the same age and therefore the same sphere. Next, one heads to college and is immersed again in an atmosphere of similarly aged folks. And then, somewhere around the age of 23, the individuals are released upon the world to mingle and proceed as they wish.
I seem to have skipped a step.
Or at least have done things a little backward...
In anticipation for college, I've found a place to live and a job to work at, places to hang out with and 'friends' of sorts. All of this is fine and well...except the people I find myself interacting with are all from that final sphere--the group that finished college and began life in the "real world". Which means they are all at least in their early twenties...while I sit here, a mere 18. 18 sounds so little when compared to a 37 or a 33...or even a 22!
I find that more so than the age itself, it is the privileges that accompany the age which make the relationship awkward. Anyone 21 and older has the right to drink legally. And while I don't drink anyway, and wouldn't even if I were of age, it simply makes things weird in both camps when anything related to the issue comes up...
All I want are friends. Ballard BJJ has given me the chance to meet so many wonderful people that I would love to call 'friend'. But I don't know if I can call anyone 'friend' that I don't see off the mat. Which is all of them. A friend is someone who enjoys your company and vice versa, and therefore makes an effort to actually spend time with you.
But everyone there already has friends...they already have established lives and things to do and places to go. They have LIVES. I would like to think I have one of those, too...but who knows. So far, its only just being born.
I am only just being born.
Only time will tell...
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I want you to know that I'm not gleeful to know your having trouble making friends. But at the same time comforted to know that you now understand the struggle of making close friends after high school.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is caught up going to work and building or maintaining there relationship with there significant other and taking care of their kids and hobby of there interest. People see no real reason to add more stress and work to there life by trying to facilitate a friendship. It plays no essential role in there life right now. A friendship doesn't pay the bills like a job nor provide campaignship like a spouse, it doesn't provide joy like a child does, and it doesn't captivate our interest like our hobbys do.
So you mite ask what good does a friendship do.
I think a friendship mite simply be a barometer for our culture as a whole showing how much we care about ourselves and how little we care about others. How selfish and materialistic we are as a culture. How many people sacrifice a friendship even with their spouse and kids to live in the house "they want" and drive the car "they want" and do the hobbies "they want." When you find yourself alone at 65 with no job to keep you busy and pay the bills. What are you going to do then?
i don't know how to make the noise in text that comes from ones mouth when the tongue rattles between the lips with lots and lots of flem. That may sound bad, or insensitive, or something else bad. But hear me out, or press delete and go stright onto the next comment, i was in a similar posistion to you, mingling with an older aged group. I found but didn't realy find that age is a true illusion. to my detriment, many people whom i loved drifted away when my circumstance chnaged, becauase i was scared to be me. that's very simplyfied. but i'm simple. just live, if people want to play jigsaw and you want to go clubbing just say, 'fuck off with your geriatric puzzle, i'm off dancing' i am sure they wont mind. if they do, cook them a roast on day between tuesday and wednesday and they will retract thier hate.
ReplyDeletemark (am aging knome)