Its another day in Seattle...the tenth day, to be exact. I'm sitting here in this apartment, hoping that my rental application gets approved. If it doesn't, I'll be loading all these boxes back into my truck and "moving" again. I find myself inevitably stressed out, despite my best efforts not to be...I am amazed at how difficult it has been to find a job. The days pass slowly, as if weighed down by some invisible hand...if nothing else, it gives me more time to think about my inadequacy.
While looking for a job, while eating dinner, while going to church, while being awake, the only thing I can really focus on is trying to find work...but it seems that no one is looking for a high school graduate with minimal work experience. My question still is this: how am I supposed to gain experience when no one is hiring?
But I can't quite say that no one is hiring yet...I haven't looked that hard yet.
Which brings me back to the thoughts of my own inadequacy. I am deeply afraid to go into a store and simply ask if they are hiring; I am afraid that they will all look at me disdainfully and shoot off a bitter, "no," as if the only reason they aren't hiring is because its me and not someone else. I don't see how my meager resume can compete with the others being offered up...it seems less and less likely that I will find anything with each passing day.
And yet, I still have hope. There is a small ball of hope buried deep within my mind's massive darkness. I have prayed, and others are praying for me...and something tells me to keep faith. I still need to look, but I have faith that there is something out there for me.
God willing, I will stay humble and trust in Him to make this happen...